COMIC SCHOOL W/PROFESSOR MIKE - Session #5

COMIC SCHOOL W/PROFESSOR MIKE - SESSION #5


Welcome back to class, guys!  I hope you enjoyed your week from last session to this one.  And I am glad you're here today.  With it close to Valentine's Day for all you lovers out there, I thought that we'd focus this week's lesson on that altruistic emotion we all come across in our lives:  love.  This week's lesson will focus on those iconic couples from the comics, what makes them a match, and why there will NEVER be another person for either of them.  

But first...it's that time, where we much check your answers from last week's quiz, and see what you got:

1.  Two part question:  How many Green Lanterns patrol the Universe?  And what sector does Hal Jordan, John Stewart, Guy Gardner, and Kyle Rayner patrol? There are 3600 Green Lanterns that patrol the Universe at the behest of The Guardians.  Hal, John, Guy, and Kyle do (and have) patroled their home sector--designated 2814.

2.  Vulture, Doctor Octopus, Electro, Sandman, Kraven The Hunter,  and Mysterio make up what super-villain team that plagues Spider-Man time and again?  They comprised the team known as The Sinister Six

3.  Who were the original members of Flash's Rogues Gallery?  Captain Cold, Captain Boomerang, Mirror Master, The Trickster, The Top, The Pied Piper, and Heat Wave.  

4.  Who were the members of the original Defenders?  The original members were Doctor Strange, The Hulk, and The Sub Mariner

5.  Who was the entity that had taken all of the heroes and villains of the Marvel Universe, and transferred them to a planet to do battle in the "Secret War"?  It was a being called The Beyonder that had taken all the heroes and villains from Earth to a placed called "Battleworld", to partake in the first "Secret War".


Well...that's another quiz down, and we'll see how well you are prepared for the one at the END of this session.  With that being said...

LOVE.  We've all experienced it, we've all either benefited or gotten destroyed by it (or perhaps both), but nonetheless, love is one of the universal things we have.  It's not picky, doesn't play favorites, and leads you to where IT wants you to go.  Having said that, in the world of comics, we have our hero, and we have the love interest.  It's been a lifelong thing that every hero or star of the strip has SOME love interest.  Archie has Betty & Veronica (lucky bastard), Dagwood always had Blondie, Sally had Linus, and so on.  You get the point.  Today, we're going to look at some superhero couples, what makes them work, and WHY they should NEVER be apart.  Writers these days (and editorial mandates as well), tend to be lazy asses who can't seem to write a little romance or anything about love.  And if a superhero falls in love, it ALWAYS has to fail, or be ruined in some manner, because they just can't write for them anymore, they're bored, or---who knows---maybe the writer or editor got a divorce, and is bitter, so they'll show it in the book.  The following couples I feel are TIMELESS and you can't break them up---no matter WHO you stick in the path as an obstacle course.  It's INEVITABLE they stay together, because time has dictated as such.  And over the course of the decades...WHY would there be ANYBODY you could put on the canvas that would be acceptable otherwise?  Boggles my mind the laziness of writers nowadays.  Everything's gotta be grim and dark....or just pain stupid.  

Anyways....let us take a peek at some selected iconic comic book couples that I feel should NEVER change, and should be left as is, because---as stories have dictated over time---there is NO OTHER person right for that hero than the one they're with.

1.  Clark Kent & Lois Lane:  Yeah...name me a more iconic couple in superhero comics.  Lois & Clark are the standard bearer for the classic superhero couple.  It's been an 80 year romance that has gone up, down, around, and back again.  For all the times Lois tried in vain to discover Superman's secret ID, and never able to (which, for such an intrepid reporter...she sure was DUMB...Clark didn't exactly have the world's greatest disguise.  But then again, slightly hunching and acting the idiot and wearing glasses with slicked back hair must've been just the right amount of subterfuge to fool an award winning investigative reporter such as Lois), figure it out until the mid '90s, when he finally fessed up in front of her just prior to DC killing him off in the "Death of Superman" storyline.  They wanted to have the eventual Lois & Clark nuptials to coincide with the "Lois & Clark" TV show at the time.  But it was also inevitable as well.  These two had been so off-and-on it wasn't even funny.  And not even dalliances with Lori Lemarus, Clark's Smallville sweetheart Lana Lang, nor even Diana herself, could stop the Lois & Clark freight train from taking off.  It's the only logical outcome.  Clark has been in love with Lois since the day they met, and while Lois was in love with the Man of Steel at first, she eventually saw Clark as her ideal mate.  She benefited from having them be both one and the same.  They compliment each other well.  Lois is strong, intelligent, no-nonsense, and can handle Clark's ways, and Lois is Clark's tether to humanity.  For as much as an outsider Clark was growing up...Lois has shown him that he's not alone.  She reminds Clark of his own humanity, and she also shows him that she's as strong as any human can me in times of crisis.  She is his rock.  And now, with a young son out in the world, their adventures only get greater.  

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2.  Peter Parker & Mary Jane Watson:  Peter Parker...for being the shy, geeky bookworm that he was...and still IS, to an extent---sure as hell had his share of hot women.  Had classmate Liz Allan crush on him, dated Betty Brant, Gwen Stacy, Deb Whitman, Felicia Hardy, hell...even had a date with Carol Danvers AND dated Bobbie Morse, and yet---NONE of the women who've popped up in his life...either as a fling or a girlfriend...could EVER hold a candle to good ol' MJ.  Out of ALL the women in the webslinger's life---no woman has stood the test of time, nor has been able to outlast the longevity of Mary Jane.  Gwen Stacy may have been Peter's first big love...but Gwen would've NEVER been able to handle his life as Spider-Man.  And I'm not talking about the Gwen of TODAY (Spider-Gwen don't count).  Betty couldn't handle it, and the Black Cat only loved Spidey...NOT Peter.  MJ has been the one to shoulder Peter's dual life, has been through MOST of his scrapes and stood by him, and she has been the one constant in his life that ISN'T Aunt May.  And had Joe Quesada and the rest of the Marvel writers not crapped up the works and actually learned to WRITE for these two...you wouldn't have gotten that "One More Day" crap.  This whole concept of a "free-swingin'" Spidey could only last so long...and ANY relationship you stuck him in was doomed to fail...except ONE.  Because no matter how much you kept her out of the books, took her off canvas, and tried to do away with her...you couldn't have a Spider-Man book without Mary Jane Watson.  And you couldn't keep these two apart.  It's only LOGICAL that these two are together.  No other woman qualifies.  Not even remotely close.  There's a website called www.spideykicksbutt.com, and in it, there's this great article on Spidey's realtionships, and the title of it is Why Did It Have to Be YOU, Mary Jane?  The author, who goes by the name "Madgoblin", went into intricate detail on why the ONLY woman for Peter Parker...past, present, and future...could ONLY be MJ.  To think otherwise is just plain stupid.

3.  Barry Allen & Iris West:  Now, we've all seen the TV show, and we've gotten to see the progression of Barry & Iris from best friends to eventual husband and wife.  Well, when we first meet Barry & Iris back in the pages of SHOWCASE #4, which happens to be Barry's first appearance, they're already dating.  One might look at Iris and see "Lois Light".  But Iris was different than Lois in the fact that she actually DID find out about her husband's secret ID (Barry talked in his sleep---so simple).  Barry was the first hero to actually have "the life".  To be a world famous superhero, have the great job, AND get the girl.  And Iris was no shrinking violet by any means...the woman can hold her own---AND she's a crafty investigative reporter in her own right.  But...much like the TV show has reflected the comic...Iris is SUPPORTIVE of Barry in his life as The Flash.  Barry has always made Iris the center of his life.  He had someone to bounce off of, and she'd give him perspective.  She was always his lighting rod (cheesy, but true).  And though in the Pre-Crisis age, Iris had been killed by Eobard Thawne, we found out that she never died at all...but was actually from the future herself.  Thus, her death before her birth was causing problems in the time stream.  Nevertheless, they were reunited.  Then, CRISIS happened, and Barry had supposedly "died" for over 20 years.  Now, things have been set back, and despite some time jumps and reality shifts, the bond between Barry & Iris are as strong as it ever was.  They compliment each other well, and are steadfast by each other.  It's one of the few examples of a "perfect" relationship in comics.  

  

4.  Ralph & Sue Dibny:  If there was ever a comic book version of "The Thin Man" and the lead characters of that movie series---Nick & Norah Charles---Ralph & Sue are the Nick & Norah of the superhero set.  They met when he crashed her debutante ball, and they hit it off immediately.  She was well affluent, and he was a simple PI, who had gained super powers.  These two are joined at the hip, and their quick patter, along with Ralph's twitchy nose for a mystery, led this devoted married couple on adventures around the globe, and eventually with the Justice League, where Sue served as an assistant for this motley bunch.  But there has NEVER been any doubt about the love Ralph & Sue had for each other.  They found each other fascinating, and allowed their love to blossom.  They're comical, but fun at the same time.  And despite the unpleasantness of "Identity Crisis", which was a VERY dark, and sadly sordid story that rather ruined a lot of the fun of Ralph & Sue for this "dark and gritty" theme DC seemed to like to churn out, I still go back to the fond days of Ralph & Sue's adventures.  It's a couple that would NEVER be apart, and you always wanted to check in on them...just to see what crazy stuff they got into.  But you could tell they had a blast doing it.

5.  Reed & Sue Richards:  If ever there was a "First Family" of comics that didn't have the original Captain Marvel (that's SHAZAM to you people nowadays), it was Reed & Sue.  The story of a brilliant scientist---perhaps the Greatest Mind on Earth---and he gets one of the most beautiful women in the Marvel Universe...who is also much younger than him (cradle robber).  Sometimes, I have often wondered...with as preoccupied as Reed gets with science...how he EVER managed to land Sue Storm...but by golly, he did.  And though they have been on some rocky terrain in their time (and I STILL put a lot of that on Reed), the point of it is---they have found a way to make it last.  Sue has been, no doubt, enamored with Reed ever since she met him as a teenager.  Through all their rough patches, she has still stood by her man...and even given him a son, Franklin.  Along with the support of her brother Johnny and Ben Grimm, of course, it's given Reed and Sue some solid support and foundation to help weather the storms of their marriage, and stay together.  There's no doubt Sue loves Reed...and, in his own weird way, I know Reed loves Sue as well.  

6.  Oliver Queen & Dinah Drake Lance:  Not sure how many of you would've pictured Ollie  & Dinah on this list, but I feel they belong---even though the TV show gives us Ollie & Felicity.  I'd rather stick with canon and real continuity here, and go with the comics.  Ollie and his "Pretty Bird" pretty much hit it off from the word "go".  They have a "His Girl Friday" quality banter and relationship---no one is better, and one gets the upper hand.  They operate on a level playing field in their relationship, and work exceptional as a team.  Green Arrow & Black Canary operate fluidly, and the names just roll off the tongue nicely.  They're both smart asses, but compliment each other well.  Often times, you'd say it's unconventional, but there is no doubt Dinah loves Ollie.  Plus---she's the only one willing to put up with his crap.  

7.  Scott Summers & Jean Grey:  I almost didn't add this relationship to the list, because more often than not, it's been more of a tragic tale than one of true love.  Scott & Jean met and Charles Xavier's School when they were younger.  They instantly fell in love, and were among Professor X's original X-Men recruits.  Through thick and thin, they survived a lot of tragic moments to be together.  But the Dark Phoenix ruined all that, and resulted in Jean's death.  Not the first time that would happen.  She would then be revived, but this time around, Scott was married to her clone, Madelyne Pryor.  Eventually, Maddie went mad, became the Goblin Queen, and tried to kill Jean, only to die herself.  Free to finally be together, they actually got married---only for her to die yet again.  Then, she came back...yet again...only for Scott to have a psychic affair with the White Queen, which resulted in them being apart...and Jean dying...yet again.  But somehow, someway, all things do come around again.  Scott and Jean are bound by a universal love...and no amount of tragedy that's befallen them has kept them away from each other forever.  But again...this is also due to incredibly lazy writing.  They create all this drama and kill off one of the characters multiple times...and for what?  A better story?  It's a well that Marvel AND DC have gone to the well with and come up short.

8  Dick Grayson & Barbara Gordon:  Bit of a surprise on this list, considering the youths in question.  But It's a sweet tale of the Boy Wonder falling for the Commissioner's daughter.  College boy meets Librarian.  Robin & Batgirl.  Dick & Babs were the cute couple of the DC Universe.  Their banter goes back to the early days when Babs made her first appearance as Batgirl.  Feeling that the hero shtick was a "boys only" club, put Dick and Babs at odds early, but there was also mutual respect...especially after the older Barbara laid a big one on Dickie Boy's kisser.  That was enough for him to develop a HUGE crush.  Though nothing happened initially, there was always a mild flirtation there---until Dick joined and led the Teen Titans, and eventually fell in love with Korianda'r...our resident Starfire.  Even engaged to be married at one point, the relationship eventually fell apart.  Partly, I believe, because Dick never reconciled his feelings for Barbara.  Even after her paralyzing at the hands of The Joker, it didn't stop Babs and Dick from becoming an item.  Her role as Oracle was integral to Dick finally establishing his own identity as Nightwing.  They taunt and tease, and Babs certainly knows how to push his buttons, but Dick is just as much a flirt back towards her.  And now with the DC Universe reshaped and revamped...Barbara is once again swinging across rooftops with the former Teen Wonder, and their relationship still as strong as ever.

Here are some honorable mentions:

Wally West & Linda Park:  Wally was a womanizing kid who blew his millions, and failed miserably at living up to Barry Allen's legend.  His early relationship with reporter Linda Park didn't help.  But...they both managed to somehow fall in love, and Wally came back from the other side of the Speed Force to save her.  Up or down, she has always been Wally's beacon.  And with two kids--Jai & Iris, the family grew bigger.  DC has somehow managed to screw this up as well...thanks, Dan DiDio.

Gambit & Rogue:  Talk about an unconventional relationship.  He's a gambler, a grifter, and a thief....she's a woman who can't make physical contact with anyone.  Two Southern kids who happen to find each other while with the X-Men, Anna Marie and Remy LeBeau were not the likeliest of couples.  He came off like a womanizer, and she had connection issues, considering her mutant powers didn't allow her physical contact.  But their love for each other has stood the test of time for over 20 years, and now they're finally married...with Rogue FINALLY able to enjoy the ability to touch her lover.  She made Gambit an honest man...for the most part.  They banter and give each other hell...but not too many couples these days in the Marvel Universe with that kind of loyalty.  And that's a fact...Sugah!

Okay kids...that's the lesson for today.  I hope you have fun on your little Heart's Day, and make sure to come back to class next week.  If I missed anyone, please comment below.  But until then...here's a little "Lover's Edition" of your pop quiz:

1.  One of Wally West's girlfriends had super-powers and ended up as a villain.  What was her name and villain ID?

2.  What was the name of the woman who was supposed to marry Wolverine before she was killed?

3.  Name TWO women who exclusively dated Bruce Wayne (comics only).

4.  What was the name of Hal Jordan's girlfriend, and what was HER alter ego?

5.  Barry Allen was going to be remarried in the comics in 1983, before he was forced to kill the Reverse-Flash for trying to kill her like he did Iris Allen.  What was her name?

That does it for this week.  As per the usual, please subscribe to the blog and pass along the good word.  Also, don't be afraid to leave comments or questions...happy to answer back!

Until next time...CLASS DISMISSED!